I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
