Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
