worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
