when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
