I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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