I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize