But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
