I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
