he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
