Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Never underestimate the power of titties
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