fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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