Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
