You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
