eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
