Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize