i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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