I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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