i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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