I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
