based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
