I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
