I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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