I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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