so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
