he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I had to cum in my sink.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
