the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize