dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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