"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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