barbara walters just said penis...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
