But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
