i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this beer tastes like vomit already
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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