i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
