Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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