i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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