It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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