she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
