Kiss
Puke
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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