I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
