She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
