I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
