You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize