if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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