i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
