Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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