babies were throwing up all over the place
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
