Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
