I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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