New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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