How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
