found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
