The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
