oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
