Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
