I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
