I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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