My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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