try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
