This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
