I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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